How to Stay Sane During Pregnancy (maybe?)

Monday, March 23, 2015 0 ,

Welp, my due date has come and gone.

My mental due date, that is. My actual due date is still next Tuesday, but I’ve kind of resigned myself to the fact that since she isn’t here right now, it will just be another ten years. And that’s fine.

Just fine. I’m mainly happy to know that my uterus is so much more exciting than the actual world.That’s something I never would have predicted.

I’ve gotten so used to being pregnant, whenever I open my closet, I wonder why I keep so many clothes around that don’t fit. But what am I talking about? I don’t open my closet these days. The three things that fit me right now are conveniently laying over a nearby chair. My closet is the tomb of my old life, the contents of which are enshrined forever: symbols of a forgotten past.

I dream about having an actual wardrobe again one day, but if that doesn’t happen for ten more years, I’m fine with that. Life is just different now, and I better get used to carrying around a bowling ball with me wherever I go. In fact, I have gotten used to it. It’s nice.

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The other day I chanced to lean over my belly and get a good view of my feet. I busted out laughing because, well, I guess I hadn’t noticed them in a while, and they looked a lot like cheese puffs.

Sure enough, when I tried on a pair of my more narrow boots yesterday, they felt two sizes too small. And they wouldn’t zip up. I actually hadn’t realized that my body was swollen. It made me wonder what else had changed about my body that I hadn’t noticed, that everyone else is secretly laughing about.

So gradual are the effects of pregnancy that I hadn’t realized how much has really changed, aside from the size of my belly, which really can’t be missed. I think that is partly why pregnant women feel a little crazy. A transforming body and losing a mind are both very gradual transitions. What did it feel like to be not pregnant? I don’t remember. That was like, ten years ago.

I was planning on writing a blog post about the things that have helped me stay sane during my pregnancy, but looking over this post, I don’t know how convincing that would really be.

I think I was going to say something like: distractions, like reading the Harry Potter series, are helpful. Making time to take care of yourself even if your wardrobe is sparse (washing your face every night, painting your nails). Using this instead of a chair because it’s a pregnancy life saver. Truly. Recognizing when you’ve overdone it, and not pushing yourself too hard to begin with are also so helpful.

And that’s about the extent of my advice today. I’m sure it’s about all you can handle, too.

Now if you’ll excuse me, there are some square inches of my house that still need to be cleaned. But I might read a book instead because I have at least a whole week left (ten years) before my life changes. That’s plenty of time to do so many things.

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